And then I breathed.

I sat in the car with an old friend, one I had worked with at a camp. The time seems so long ago, a lifetime ago, mostly because of all that has since transpired. But, it was really only a couple of years ago. We sat, we talked, he asked a question… “How’s your healing process?” I hemmed. I hawed. I hesitated. I wasn’t sure of the words I wanted to use.

“Well, I’m really healthy, but I’m not like I was. I’d call myself a post-Christian or a progressive Christian… I still believe in Christ but not ‘Christianity’ necessarily. I have a lot of problems with current Christian evangelical culture and have turned away from most of it. But, I’m happy, no longer having panic attacks, healthy, on a path toward wholeness…” I trailed off. I was of course, worried for the response.

But what did I receive? Love and grace. Because he’s a friend. “That makes sense,” he said. “What you’ve gone through and experienced. That makes sense. Also, I have a hard time with Christian culture too. Living in a developing nation does that to a person.”

This is what I hope for in the future. People who are willing to sit with me. People willing to try to understand. People willing to hold my heart and give me a hug. And knowing that it won’t often happen this way. I will take it when I do get it.

Thank you for God, for brothers and sisters who love deeply, without fear blinding them. Amen.


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